My Patient ~ My Healer : Part 35
Previous Parts: Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 |Part 14| Part 15| Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31 | Part 32 | Part 33| Part 34
Gradually it had started making lot of sense to me and I was enjoying his teachings. However I still had long way to go. I inquired again. “ It’s good to be detached from negative states once we become aware but isn’t it that we would be detached from pleasures also? I understand that it’s like a deal, it’s like all or none...if sadness is not mine than how happiness can be mine? And Arvind, this bothers me. Then how I would enjoy the pleasures of life?” “You are absolutely right doctor. It can’t be selective. You can’t choose.... that you want pleasure only and want to be detached from your pain. Either you will have both or you will have none. Once you are aware, everything will remain at a distance. It’s hilarious, we want only pleasures and no pain. However life is not like that, its offered to us as a package. You have happiness, you have sorrow, you have pain, you have pleasure, victory-defeat, highs-lows, loss-gain, good-bad, day and night and so on.. Everything has opposite and life is sum total of opposites. One is followed by other.
You simply can’ t choose, you simply have to go through them without getting identified with them. And once we become aware, as we create distance from negative states, similarly we also create distance from happiness...from pleasures. Then we don’t cling to our pleasures, we simply enjoy them while they are there but then don’t feel sad when they are gone. And you will appreciate that happiness doesn’t last and our clinging will only make you miserable when happiness is gone.Let-go happens for both the states of mind, negative or positive. We don’t hanker for happiness; we enjoy and then let it go when it’s over. We remain choice less. We don’t choose anything. You accept whatever is offered. Our resistance is the cause of our happiness and our mind resist, it tends to choose. Awareness, our soul doesn’t resist, everything is welcome. And because there is no identification, there is no suffering. You don’t identify with negative state and you don’t identify with positive state also which makes our life simply joyous and peaceful. Let whatever happens, happen, I am not what happens to me, I am the one who knows that, I am beyond what happens to me. This knowing frees you, you enjoy good things while it last and then let go happens spontaneously. We cannot control what happens to us but with awareness we can always remain at a distance from it with a quantum of detachment, it deserves. The distance, the detachment is the key and that can only be achieved by witnessing.
When we watch, we cease to be involved with the doing..with the happenings. Hence, aim of our life to become aware.” “Thank you Arvind for making me understand the concept of witnessing and awareness but how to achieve that state of awareness?” I was able to understand the cure but now I wanted to know the treatment regime to be followed. “Our goal is to be the witness. We can achieve it through meditation or we can simply just decide to become a witness....de novo, without following any fixed path. Mostly we achieve witnessing by the first method.... by following the path of meditation, by finding our centre through various techniques of observing our breathing or by other methods described by thousands of yoga techniques. The de novo awareness can be achieved by someone who is already prepared for it , if not in this life time, from previous life times and by understanding, he simply decides to be a witness rather than a doer. However not all of us are so ready and we have to follow the path of meditation to achieve witnessing.” “Since meeting you Arvind and after reading many literatures about it, I do try to meditate but my thoughts, the external world takes over me spontaneously. I don’t even realize and I am being drawn into the huge currents of thoughts which are so torrential that I am simply washed away in the current. How to let go of this world of forms... of thoughts? I asked “You don’t have to let-go of them. They will drop themselves once you find your centre, your real self. World is our own creation, they would cease to exist if we don’t create them anymore. You can check it yourself, the moment we start watching our breath or start meditating, there thoughts simply vanishes.
They exist because we let them, we engage them, we give them energy. The moment we become one with our being, sync with our centre, thoughts disappear on their own. We don’t need to fight with them, they have come from nowhere and they will disappear into nowhere. And as your witnessing will become stronger and deeper, even if they are present, you would not be bothered with them. You would simply watch them without getting involved with them, without creating any dialogue with them. And when they won’t get any attention from you, they would simply disappear. Our attention, our interaction and our involvement make them strong and overpowering. Attain your centre, become a witness, and reclaim yourself and your power from them. Let it be your powerless attendant whose service is only required if you want.” He tried to make me understand the mysteries of life in spite of his ill health. And he continued, “And once you are aware, all the ego related state of mind will be dissolved on its own. Your awareness will be the fire that will burn all the diseases originating from ego.
With your awareness, your will be able to live in the present moment, with your awareness, acceptance will come in life spontaneously, you will not judge or resist anything.” “How would awareness lead me to finding myself?” I interrupted “Once we become aware, you understand the futility of not being present, to be in the past or future or the worthlessness of resistance, meaninglessness of anger and senselessness of fear and pain. When you watch yourself and your action, you will spontaneously realize the hollowness of ego based frivolous existence. You will laugh at yourself that what all pointless things you were engaged with. You will realize that most of the pains in life were self created because of your unawareness. And your understanding of yourself will take you beyond your pains. With awareness, you will be achieving a centre which was never there before.
You simply existed on periphery and anyone can trespass that peripheral existence. And that is the cause of our reactive attitude. When we achieve our centre, we simply act out of our own centre, there is no reaction to anything or anyone. We find ourselves and then nothing more is left to find in this world. No treasure can be compared to this treasure. You might be a loser in world, in worldly sense but if you have found your soul..your being, you are the greatest winner.” Arvind replied in his usual calm manner .However I could see that he looked tired and at times out of breathe while talking to me. I felt embarrassed by my selfishness and hurriedly ask for his leave after requesting him to take adequate rest. “ I have been greatly benefitted by your help Arvind and I would try to practice what all you have inspired me to do.” I said while leaving his room. He smiled. Somehow for the first time since I had seen him, he looked as if he was standing at a great distance. It was as if he was not there anymore. I felt a strange sense of fear... a fear of losing him.
~ To be continued