My Patient ~ My Healer : Part 12

Previous Parts: Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7  | Part 8 | Part 9 |   Part 10  | Part 11

"But Arvind, isn’t it the way how world runs? Isn’t it we are encouraged to acquire the best from life since our childhood? Isn’t how people are considered successful? Isn’t everyone runs after name and fame? Isn’t why we have taken birth on this leave our mark, to be immortalised in sands of time?’’ I retorted. It was tricky, sometimes I agreed with Arvind, at others I found all his teaching simply incomprehensible.

Yes, you are very true Doctor. Ordinarily these are the ways of life. We all have to live up to the expectations of our parents, our society and not to forget, our ego. Our ego, which never gets satisfied by anything, the moment it acquires something, the desire for next thing starts. And the desire is simply never ending. How much we try, how much we promise to ourselves that we would not be running after next target but invariably we end up doing exactly that. We are so hungry for name and reputation, for acknowledgement by others that we hardly pause to observe our real self, our soul. And the interesting part is that everyone is behaving in same pattern which makes it difficult to understand and voluntarily deciding to opt out of the race. It’s like if you don’t have the choice, you have to run the race. 

We hardly seem to have any control over anything; it’s more like a default system of the computer which operates on its own. And then it becomes a vicious cycle, your ego wants more, you run more and you get more but cycle doesn’t stop. Once you get more, your ego will push for more. Only at the time of death or sometimes by God’s grace during our life time, we realize this mistake, that how much time was wasted in feeding this insatiable ego, our false identity and what all we missed...those simple joys of life which doesn’t cost anything, which doesn’t depend on any external source, which simply originates from our own source..our soul. "

So easy yet so hard, Arvind!” I exclaimed. “Indeed Doctor, we have forgotten the simplest thing, to be with ourselves. We are lost in the world; we are running a race which doesn’t have any end point. We are so much identified with our body and thought process that we presume them to be our real identity while forgetting about our eternal power, our hidden source, and our essence which never leaves us, which simply watches us while residing inside our body.”

He replied. “ I am sure there are people who have never tried to find that eternal entity, that silent space inside, the awareness which is a base, the substratum, the screen on which the whole movie of our life runs and by mere syncing with that space, we can get eternal peace and contentment. However, what I have observed that even if we try, we keep losing touch with it. It simply slips away, thought process takes control, overshadows it and it’s gone.” I had to let Arvind know that though I tried, I am unable to stay in touch with that space and lose my awareness. “Yes it happens, Doctor, because we are conditioned to live through our mind since time immemorial. Our mind has taken a primary position and we have become its servant. It directs us.. guides us and manages and manipulates us. 

We are in its grip. And we should not see it as our fault because we cannot be de-conditioned until and unless we become aware. It’s our karma; we are forced to repeat the same thing, same anger, same jealousy, and same pattern until and unless we get out of that pattern by our conscious effort.” Arvind was trying to explain me in best possible way. I understood that he was still young and he didn’t have rhetorical power, which lot of distinguished people have. But I was confident that Arvind would eventually lead me to the answers which I was seeking for ages. “But isn’t it that we are consumed by our thoughts. In fact it seems that we are the thought. It encircles us, it shadows us, it gives us impression that we exist because of thoughts.” I said “Exactly, that is the identification.” Arvind was like a school teacher who really wants to make his pupil understand the subject.

~to be continued